Do you know what they say about social media and in particular, Instagram? It’s your highlight reel and that couldn’t have been more true for me than this year. While it’s been a year of happiness, excitement, success, gratitude, friendship, and joy–it’s also been one of the most challenging years of my life. I’ve had to grapple with some serious realizations about life that haven’t been the easiest to come to terms with. I generally try to keep things very positive, motivational, and encouraging because that’s the vibe I want out in the world. However, this blog ain’t called Truly Blazey for nothing…I want to be transparent and own what has been going on behind the scenes this past year. So, without further ado, here’s what really went down in 2022.
It started out with a bang in Boston–so much fun and good vibes all around. This was much needed after spending Christmas of 2021 in Texas because my grandfather was dying of cancer and ended up passing away in the guest room of my aunt’s home. It was really hard but particularly hard to watch what my mom went through. When I got home from Boston after the New Year, I was sick for 2 1/2 months with seemingly everything under the sun: COVID, bronchitis twice, ear infection twice, lung infection, and more…I gained a noticeable amount of weight because of the condition myself and my lungs were in. I was working a lot and trying to get myself well at the same time which is totally counterproductive. I just couldn’t seem to get the positive momentum that I needed on my side and it wasn’t for a lack of trying…I kept trying to make sure that everyone else’s glass was full while mine was completely empty. I was 100% drained and just kept on going. While all of that was going our beloved family dog, Sonny, passed away and that broke my damn heart in half.
I told myself that if I just kept on going everything would be fine, and the funny (or not so funny) thing is that you’ll be able to power through for days, months, or even years, but it will eventually catch up to you. That’s exactly what happened to me. I tried burning the candle at way too many ends and my body finally took the hit after 6 solid years of “just powering through.” My dad expressed genuine concern and encouraged me to finally go to a doctor which I did so begrudgingly as I don’t trust or particularly like doctors, especially many of the ones that I’ve met around here. But…I digress. I’m glad that I went because after 2 rounds of antibiotics I was finally able to turn a corner and get myself to a baseline of “good health.”
I went to Florida and it was an absolute blast– such a fun girls’ trip where I made memories that I’ll hold onto for a lifetime! We got to see the Everglades, ride on a fan boat, party on a yacht in the Port of Miami, and relax on the beach plenty. These beautiful ladies are the best! 💞
It was so needed to get away, relax, have fun, and soak up the sun. Lo and behold, a few days after I had returned from the trip I was sick AGAIN. By this point after being sick for so long prior, I was like, “Alright, what the hell is going on with me?” It’s not normal to be SO sick THIS often.
I ended up learning the hard way that trying to work 3 jobs (at the time), blogging, maintaining a social life, having a new romantic relationship, acting as a pillar of strength and support for my family, plus frequent traveling is a bonafide recipe for burnout and chronic illness. What I really needed was an actual breather to stop all of the “go, go, go” as they say, but I kept pushing myself to do more.
I then found out that my mom had skin cancer (beat it) and was soon after diagnosed with breast cancer (currently in the final phases of treatment). I started traveling to Connecticut more to be with my family and to help in any and every way that I could. I have made my family a priority for the past two years at least, but it was apparent I needed to be there even more. All of the terrible news on top of not being able to get physically well really had me, mom, and dad feeling pretty beside ourselves. My whole family seemed to be really going through it in their own ways. The best I could do was to be there and do whatever needed to get done when not on the clock–my health and personal problems aside. I was there physically but also as a mental support system. I had to keep going…then I got sick again from the middle to the end of July 2022.
In August of 2022, my childhood home had a freak electrical fire. My mom somehow single-handly managed to put out two fires by herself on opposite ends of our Connecticut home. She called me freaking terrified and completely traumatized from everything that has occurred this past year. I then rolled my ankle pretty severely a few days later while trail running to relieve some of the stress. I fell off the right side of the trail and went tumbling down into a ditch. When I got to the bottom, all I could do was hold my head in my hands and just sob in utter defeat. The adrenaline kicked in when I realized I was probably a 20-minute walk from my car and didn’t know if I’d be able to walk–plus I was alone. I got up and managed to climb out of the ditch. Both of my hands had deep gashes in them from trying to break my fall on the way down. I groaned and hobbled my way back to the car looking like the actual fucking walking dead. Thank god, I didn’t see anybody because they probably would have run away in terror at the sight.
I went home a few weeks later to help my mom with the fire claims paperwork all while nursing my sprained ankle. I took her to her doctor’s appointment for an MRI, worked through her list of about 50 items labeled “high-priority” (mother-like daughter), and tried to set up everything she would need for an easy post-surgery recovery period. My parents would also need to prepare themselves to live in a hotel for a month after her surgery in order to have all of our home’s flooring repaired. I kept trying to power through and manage everything like the dutiful employee, co-worker, entrepreneur, blogger, friend, best friend, girlfriend, daughter, and family member–but all of the hats that I tried to wear proved to be too much. I had burned out, had nothing left in me to give, and knew something had to change. It had become apparent that I needed to make my health and well-being a top priority and not just SAY that. I can’t take care of anyone or accomplish anything in my life if I’m dead.
I got into a car accident at the beginning of November and then finally began to get some positive momentum back on my side by the end of November 2022. It just so happens that a position had opened with a fantastic company that I had already been working for as an independent marketing consultant for the past 2 1/2 years. This position had been offered to me twice before but both times I declined because didn’t feel like it was the right time. I’d be a fool to turn it down a third and the timing seemed to be right, so I made the decision to leave my position with Inspired Closets Vermont and take a full-time position with the Sarah Harrington Real Estate team at Coldwell Banker Hickok & Boardman. I am currently settling into the new position as their Listing & Marketing Manager and it’s been absolutely wonderful! I’ll also be doing marketing consulting for Inspired Closets Vermont in 2023 which is SO exciting! This year I learned that working two jobs (part-time and full-time) is totally 100% manageable, but when it comes to a third? No. Freaking. Way. I do technically count content creation for the blog as work but the difference is that I can do it at my own pace and have no additional pressure.
I sit here on December 28, 2022, currently recovering from being sick for what feels like the 9th time this year, but I can honestly say I’m finally taking my health seriously. I have a great benefits package with my new job that supports a healthy lifestyle. I joined a gym in order to start easing back into working out after getting injured. I have been extremely consistent with it and I feel freaking phenomenal. ✨ I was able to run 4.0 miles in 26.34 on level 10 intensity on the elliptical machine the other day and that makes me SO proud! I am eating a balanced diet and meal prepping every Sunday. I am in bed by 9:30 PM on the weekdays to give my body the rest it needs and deserves. I am taking supplements morning and night. I am drinking less coffee and more herbal tea/water each day. I have deleted all dating apps. I am saying no to trauma bonds and toxic people immediately. I am opening myself up to new friendships. I have totally submitted to the process of recovery and have chosen to love and take care of myself first. My family and chosen family are second. That’s not to say I won’t try my absolute best to be accommodating and to be there, but I honestly need to get my health back on track. I am laser-focused on my career as well. That’s why a solid routine is imperative for reaching personal and professional goals. I won’t be “taking off” nearly as much as I was, but I’ll still be extremely active in the lives of my friends who live out of state. I will continue to make the effort to be there as much as possible because I sincerely want to.
This year taught me a whole lot. The first is that family, despite our differences, is extremely important to me. I have been forced to face the fact that one day my parents won’t be here. I’ve always pushed this out of my mind but this year made it real. It’s an inevitability of life, but as an only child, it’s the most gut-wrenching, heartbreaking, and terrifying thing imaginable. I can’t even begin to imagine losing my parents…the guilt, heartbreak, and never-ending grief that would ensue is completely unbearable to think about much less to actually happen. This year taught me about what’s really important in life and that is my family and chosen family. I make it a priority to maintain my friendships with the people in my life who are like brothers and sisters to me because one day they’ll be all I have. I want to show them how much I love them and how much they mean to me for this reason. I give 100% to them when I am with them. I’ve also truly realized that my health and well-being are my first and foremost priority–physical, mental, and spiritual.
Ah, well, yep…I guess that’s it. I left some things out of courtesy and/or respect to others, but it’s been extremely nice to find time to actually sit down, process, and write this all out even if nobody takes the time to read it. I acknowledge that most people come to my blog for food and lifestyle content–not this, but I hope that my candidness is not super off-putting to you. Like I said at the beginning, this year brought some of the most amazing, joyful, and beautiful memories which can be seen plastered all over my Instagram feed, but it’s by NO means the full picture of my year or my life. It’s important to remember that Instagram is a marketing tool and people will post what they want you to see. I find that being transparent isn’t always easy, but it is necessary not only to give yourself a personal benchmark for how far you’ve come, but also to provide hope and inspiration to those who might also be silently or openly struggling.
I love you all so much! Despite, it all, I’m staying positive and keeping a smile on my face! Tough times never last and I know that. I am okay and I will be okay! 💯 To be honest, what matters most to me is that my mom and dad are happy and healthy. I really hope that they make the decision to finally retire and go enjoy their lives in 2023…fingers crossed. 🤞🏻 Everything is beginning to turn around for both me and my family. I’m feeling thankful and grateful that we are finally coming out on the other side. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for another year of love and support. It literally means everything to me! I’m wishing all of you the healthiest and happiest new year and I’ll see you on the flip side. ❤️
