The ability to develop and maintain excellent self-confidence has become a big challenge in our modern and digitally focused society. One study cites that social media could be a contributing factor to the increasing rates of reported depression and isolation in teenagers and young adults. This could be due to the fact that social media has made it easier than ever to make snap judgements about other people. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube are all known social networks where cyberbullying has and continues to occur which can lead to a tremendous deficit of confidence.
This is an rough place to be in. I don’t want you guys feeling isolated or depressed. I want to help you get through this. Here are some of the realizations that I have had which have helped to improve my confidence:
1. Mistakes help you to grow, so embrace them.
It sounds very cliche, but everybody makes mistakes so you can’t beat yourself up for that. You can’t hold yourself to unrealistic standards of perfection or expect to achieve your biggest dreams in the course of a month or even a year. If you do, it will inevitably negatively affect your physical health, mental health, social life and your performance at work.
When you make a mistake it is easy to get red in the face with embarrassment, however being able to laugh it off when you make a mistake and being able to take personal responsibility for your actions exudes confidence which is sexy! You’re not perfect and nobody is, so why not embrace it and rock it?
2. Appreciate your loved ones.
The people who accept you for who you are, who love you unconditionally and have seemingly blind-faith in you as an individual, are the people you want to keep and cherish in your life. They are the people who will support you and push you to be your best no matter what. Your loved one could be family member, a friend, or a mentor–anyone who you can be completely yourself with.
There will be people who will inevitably abandon you when you need them most. While it can be extremely upsetting when this occurs, try to be gentle with yourself. It might be hard to see it at the time but this is a blessing in disguise. It will give you the chance not only to test your resilience, but gives to a chance to find better people who are loyal, loving, caring, patient and as gentle with you as you are trying to be with yourself.
Don’t settle for fair-weather friends, you don’t deserve that.
3. Try not to take anything personally.
Don Miguel Ruiz, a pioneer in the field of Positive Psychology, helped me to grasp this concept within his book The Four Agreements, Usually when people behave or act a certain way towards you, it is oftentimes a reflection of how they are feeling about themselves or their insecurities. At the end of the day, you make the decision whether or not to allow something to affect you. You have to be able to pick yourself up and keep going despite the lifetime adversity that you’ll inevitably experience.
The book The Snowball Effect: How To Build Positive Momentum in Your Life explains that people will make the choice to either go through life or grow through life. Obviously, the more fruitful choice for your mental health is adopting the growth-oriented mindset. If you choose this route, you’ll have to commit to being completely honest with yourself otherwise lasting change that you may be looking for will not occur.
4. Authenticity will attract the right people.
The great thing about being your authentic self is that there is less of a guessing game when it comes to making new friends. Many people in your life will come and go, but the ones worth your while are the people who will stay during your lowest lows and highest highs.
Think those people don’t exist? Think again! There are so many people out there who are genuinely good and kind-hearted. It might just take some time and an open-mind to find those people so you need to be patient and strong. Just continue being exactly who you are and those people will find you and love you, I promise.
